If you’re considering couples therapy or have already been attending, you may have wondered, “How long does it take for marriage counseling to work?”
It’s a fair question. But by the time a couple has gotten to a place where two people have finally agreed to search for help in supporting their relationship and are arriving to therapy, it’s often as a last-ditch effort.
Whether it’s marital and family therapy, premarital counselling or couples therapy, a rough estimate of how long it takes can help couples of promises model stay the course.
So, here we break down everything you really need to know about how long couples therapy takes, what contributes to how long it will last, and how it can help you and your partner reconnect, repair, and build back step by step.
What to Expect & How Long Does it Take for Marriage Counseling to Work
The first several therapy sessions are often an exploration. A seasoned couples therapist or marriage counselor will listen to both partners, evaluate the dynamic, and begin the work of trying to uncover the root issues. These might include:
● Lack of communication
● Resentment buildup
● Infidelity
● Differences in parenting styles
● Financial stress
Within the first four to six sessions, many couples report noticeable yet small changes. These early wins may look like this:
● More civil conversations
● Reduced emotional reactivity
● Increased self-awareness
It’s not yet a complete transformation, but it’s evidence that therapy works, even at the outset.
When Couples Face More Complex Problems
For couples with deeper wounds, emotional neglect, trauma, long-term disconnection the road is longer. This is particularly true in couple therapy, where trust is absent or where one or both partners are ambivalent toward the relationship..
In such scenarios, it can take couples months in therapy before both partners start to see positive change. Still, those complicated paths can end in meaningful things, such as:
● Renewed emotional safety
● Better conflict management
● Rebuilt intimacy
For cases like the above, you can always use emotionally focused couple therapy and CBT, and now it’s really on you (the therapist), because it’s not one size fits all.”
What the Research Says About Therapy Duration
Most couples need about 12 to 20 sessions of therapy. If issues are caught early or it’s premarital counseling, it might take less time.
For deeper problems, therapy can take longer, especially if individual sessions are needed alongside couples work.
Here are a few averages to keep in mind:
| Type of Therapy | Average Duration |
| Premarital Counselling | 6–8 sessions |
| General Couples Counselling | 10–15 sessions |
| Complex Marital Therapy | 20+ sessions |
| Family Therapy Sessions | Varies (based on need) |
It is worth noting that the duration of couples therapy depends on the specific needs of the couple and the type of therapy chosen.
Factors That Impact How Long Couples Therapy Takes
There’s no magic formula. Several things impact how quickly you see success in couples therapy:
1. The Nature of the Issues
Some problems, like infidelity, addiction, or past trauma, take longer to work through than simple communication issues. These deeper challenges need more time to understand and heal.
2. The Couple’s Commitment
Couples who show up regularly and are emotionally involved tend to make faster progress. If attendance is irregular or one partner isn’t fully engaged, therapy often stalls or doesn’t work well.
3. The Therapist’s Style
Different therapists use different approaches. Some focus on clear goals and structure, others on emotional growth over time. The style of the therapist can affect how quickly and effectively the couple improves.
4. Whether Individual Therapy Is Needed
Sometimes, one or both partners need individual therapy alongside couples counseling to address personal issues. This can make the process longer but usually leads to better, more lasting results.
How Therapy Can Provide Long-Term Change
The true benefit of marriage and family therapy is its ability to bring about long-lasting change. Although there may be some relief in the first few months, the most profound benefits come when you apply what you’ve learned to your life outside the therapy room.
That means:
● Practicing new communication tools
● Setting boundaries
● Showing up for each other consistently
● Revisiting therapy for tune-ups when needed
Many couples report that they have continued to use the skills they learned and felt closer, long after the last session. The result can be a transformative move, whether in the service of getting better at co-parenting or reigniting that connection.
For Couples Who Wait Too Long
Here is a harsh reality: Couples who put off therapy may make things harder for themselves. The more resentment festers, the more difficult it is to unwind. However, even so, treatment can still be beneficial.
If you’re considering couples therapy, don’t wait until it’s your last hope. The earlier you start, the better your chances of success.
What If You’re Not Seeing Results Yet?
Curious about how long you’ll have to wait? It requires effort and depends on how you and your therapist get along, as well as what you have set out to achieve. If, after 8–10 sessions, nothing has changed, it might be time to:
● Reassess the therapy goals
● Ask your therapist for a progress review.
● Consider switching therapists or trying a new type of couples therapy.
Don’t forget therapy can take longer too when there’s outside factors involved like financial pressure, pressure from parenting or resources for mental health too.
Trust the Process and Be Patient – Things Will Get Better!
Healing through therapy rarely happens overnight or with sudden breakthroughs. It’s more of a gradual process, where progress comes in small steps. Real change happens during honest conversations, moments of discomfort, and even shared silences. These quiet, sometimes difficult moments are where trust and understanding begin to grow.
There will be times when it feels like you’re stuck or even going backward. That’s normal. Often, growth looks like confusion or frustration before it turns into clarity and peace. It can feel messy and slow, but that’s part of how things get better.
The key is for both of you to keep showing up both of you with honesty and openness. Even when it’s tough, keep communicating and listening. Trust that the hard moments are helping you build a stronger foundation. Over time, little by little, the relationship will improve. It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. Together, you can get through this and come out stronger on the other side.
